If you need immediate assistance, please call or text the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or contact the Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness 24/7 Access Line at 1-888-868-1649.

Navigating Climate Anxiety and Natural Disasters

It’s normal to feel anxious or unsettled when facing the realities of climate-related disasters. Events like wildfires, floods, or extreme weather can take a toll on mental health. The following resources can help you prepare, cope, and recover:

• Ready Santa Barbara County: Guidance for disaster preparedness, response, and recovery efforts. Stay proactive and informed.
• Santa Barbara County Office of Emergency Management: Tools to help you cope with emergencies and find support.

For ongoing emotional support, explore services provided by:

• NAMI Santa Barbara County: Offering education, support groups, and advocacy for mental health.
• Family Service Agency of Santa Barbara: Providing emotional and practical support during and after disasters.
• Mental Health Matters: Education for mental health to elementary, middle, and high school students.

When to Seek Help After a Disaster

Disasters can leave psychological effects long after the immediate crisis has passed. It’s essential to seek help if you’re experiencing prolonged anxiety, grief, difficulty concentrating, or other trauma-related symptoms. Professional support in your recovery can make all the difference.

• Behavioral Wellness Department: Offers counseling and crisis services to Santa Barbara residents.
• Take an Online Mental Health Test: Assess your mental health privately through Mental Health America.

Mental Health During Conflict and Acts of Terrorism

Exposure to violent conflict, terrorism, or global crises can lead to significant psychological and emotional distress. Finding support during these times is crucial to restoring a sense of safety and well-being.

• Santa Barbara Foundation’s Community Disaster Relief Fund: Supporting recovery efforts for affected communities.
• Family Service Agency: Providing trauma-informed support to individuals and families.

Contact Mental Wellness Center to be proactive toward improving your mental health.

Take a Step Toward Wellness

If you or someone you know is struggling, start by taking a simple, private mental health screen. In just a few minutes, you’ll receive personalized recommendations for next steps. Visit Mental Health America to begin.

Additional Local Resources

• Santa Barbara Fire Department’s Office of Emergency Services: Stay updated on local emergency response efforts.
• Family Service Agency: Emotional and practical support for disaster recovery.

Mental Wellness Center is here to support you on your path to recovery and healing. Whether you need direct assistance or connections to local resources, we are here for you.

The post Mental Health and Disasters: Supporting Santa Barbara’s Resilience first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

What is Anxiety and Climate Anxiety?

Climate anxiety is the persistent worry and fear about the negative impact of climate change. It can manifest in emotional and physical symptoms:

Physical Symptoms:

• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Insomnia
• Loss of appetite

Emotional Symptoms:

• Panic attacks
• Constant worrying
• Irritability
• Depression
• Self-isolation
• Lack of motivation

For more details on anxiety, mental health symptoms, and how to seek support, visit Mental Wellness Center’s Resources page.

Mental Health and Climate Change

Helplessness

The feeling of being unable to reverse climate change can lead to despair and hopelessness. Those who have lived through wildfires or other natural disasters in Santa Barbara may also experience PTSD, depression, or anxiety as they work to recover. According to the Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness Department, residents impacted by natural disasters are at greater risk for mental health conditions.

Uncertainty

For those preparing for wildfires or other disasters, uncertainty can be overwhelming. Marginalized communities in Santa Barbara often face more significant challenges due to limited resources for recovery, housing, or employment after being displaced. Ready SBC provides valuable resources to help individuals and families prepare for natural disasters and minimize the emotional toll of uncertainty.

Mental Wellness Center offers specific support for managing anxiety and stress.

Strategies for Coping and Building Resilience

Coping with climate anxiety is important for your mental wellness. Here are some strategies to help you manage your emotions and build resilience:

Limit Your Exposure to Distressing News

Although it is important to stay informed, excessive news consumption can heighten anxiety. Set boundaries with your media use by limiting the time spent on news and social media. Consider checking updates from reliable local resources like Santa Barbara County’s Office of Emergency Management. Focus on activities that help you relax and bring you joy.

Engage in Self-Care Practices

Prioritize self-care practices that bring you peace, such as mindfulness, physical activity, or spending time in nature. Local parks, beaches, and hiking trails offer excellent opportunities to reconnect with the environment positively.

Explore mindfulness and wellness tips from Mental Wellness Center on their Self-Care Resources page.

Focus on What You Can Control

Focus on actionable steps to combat feelings of helplessness. For instance:

• Reduce your energy use at home.
• Use eco-friendly transportation options.
• Advocate for change by contacting your local representatives.

Build Community

Connecting with others is key to resilience. Consider joining local groups focused on climate action or mental wellness, such as NAMI Santa Barbara or a support group offered by Mental Wellness Center. Shared purpose and collaboration can improve mental health and reduce feelings of isolation.

When to Seek Help

If you’ve tried these strategies but still find yourself struggling, you may be experiencing early warning signs of a mental health condition. Consider taking a free and confidential mental health screening at mhascreening.org.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, help is available:

• Call or text 988 for immediate support.
• Text HELLO to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
• For local resources, contact Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness.

Mental Wellness Center is here to support you. Explore our services and learn more at mentalwellnesscenter.org.

The post Coping with Climate Anxiety: Support for Santa Barbara Residence first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

Santa Barbara-Specific Resources

Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness

• A comprehensive resource for mental health and substance use treatment services in Santa Barbara County.
• Visit: Behavioral Wellness
• Phone: 1-888-868-1649 (24/7 Access Line)

ReadySBC

• Local emergency preparedness information, including mental health resources during natural disasters and crises.
• Visit: Ready SBC

Mental Wellness Center

• Offers support, education, and advocacy for both individuals and families experiencing mental health challenges in Santa Barbara.
• Visit: Mental Wellness Center
• Phone: 805-884-8440

NAMI Santa Barbara County

• Provides support groups, education programs, and advocacy for mental health.
• Visit: NAMI Santa Barbara County
• Phone: 805-884-8440

Santa Barbara County Office of Emergency Management

• Coordinates disaster response and recovery, including mental health resources during emergencies
• Visit: Office of Emergency Management

National Resources for Crisis Support

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

• Call or Text: 988 or chat at org
• Provides free and confidential emotional support for people in crisis 24/7

Disaster Distress Helpline

• Available for emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters
• Call or Text: 1-800-985-5990
• Visit: Disaster Distress Helpline

Crisis Text Line

• Text: HOME to 741741 to be put in touch with a Crisis Counselor 24/7

The Trevor Project

• Specialized support for LGBTQ youth in crisis
• Call: 1-866-488-7386
• Text START: 678678
• Visit: The Trevor Project

Trans Lifeline

• A peer support service run by trans people for trans and questioning callers
• US: 877-565-8860
• Canada: 877-330-6366

National Domestic Violence Hotline

• Confidential support for victims and survivors of domestic violence
• Call: 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522
• Visit: The Hotline

StrongHearts Native Helpline

• Culturally appropriate support for Native Americans experiencing domestic or dating violence
• Call: 1-844-762-8483

National Sexual Assault Hotline

• Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) to be connected to a local provider

Caregiver Help Desk

• Support for caregivers navigating complex challenges
• Call: 855-227-3640

Partnership for Drug-Free Kids Helpline

• Help for families facing addiction challenges
• Call: 1-855-378-4373

Physician Support Line

• Peer support for physicians and medical students
• Call: 1-888-409-0141

Additional Resources for Mental Health and Climate Crises

Mental Health America (MHA)

• Resources on how mental health is impacted by climate change and natural disasters
• Visit: Mental Health America

By accessing these resources, individuals and families can find the support they need to promote mental well-being and navigate challenges. For additional guidance or local referrals, contact Mental Wellness Center at mentalwellnesscenter.org.

The post Santa Barbara Mental Health Resources for Immediate Support first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I was very young—I think I may have been in elementary school. Those early years in school were tough for me. When I got to Fayetteville, I got really involved in pageantry and was crowned Miss Teen Arkansas. I loved the traditions, camaraderie, and the community work that came with the title. But after a while, my anxiety was joined by depression, and I had to step away.

Even leaving the pageant world didn’t make me feel better. My friends started getting really concerned about me, and I had to admit that I needed help.

When I met with my doctor and shared what I’d been experiencing, she told me, “We can try different medications, but it will take some time to figure out what works.” The thought of waiting for results terrified me—I was in a bad place mentally and didn’t have time to wait and deal with medication trial and error. That’s when my doctor mentioned something called pharmacogenomic (PGx) testing.

PGx tests analyze your DNA for genetic variants that may impact how your body metabolizes or responds to certain medications. Information provided by PGx tests can help inform your doctor’s treatment plan for you during their medical evaluation.

I had never heard of PGx testing before, but I was desperate for relief. I took a simple mouth swab test, and about a week later, my doctor received the results. Reviewing them with my doctor, I was surprised—and relieved—to learn that the medication I’d been taking may be affected by my genetics. My doctor decided to switch me to a different medication based on their medical assessment and PGx testing information, and it helped! I’ve been on this new medication for over a year now, and it’s absolutely helped change my life.

Since I took the PGx test and got on a medication that helped with my symptoms, I’ve been able to return to doing what I love. I was crowned Miss Arkansas USA and even competed in the Miss USA pageant. My platform is mental health.

In college, I became an active member of my campus chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Now, I want to share with young women like me—and really, with the world—how pharmacogenomic testing may be able to help you find a better medication so you can finally start feeling better!

**This story is one patient’s personal experience. Other patients may not have the same experience or outcome. Do not make any changes to your current medications or dosing without consulting your healthcare provider.

Madeline Bohlman is the reigning Miss Arkansas USA and recently graduated from the University of Arkansas. Passionate about mental health advocacy, she collaborates with organizations like NAMI to promote awareness and support. You can find her on Instagram: @missarusa and @MadelineBohlman.

The post From Anxiety to Advocacy: How Pharmacogenomic Testing Helped My Mental Health Journey first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

Over the last four decades, my family has supported my older brother, who lives with schizophrenia. I haven’t just seen firsthand the challenges that families face in caring for loved ones with mental illness and navigating the complexities of our healthcare system – I’ve witnessed my parents and my sister live through these challenges, and I’ve personally lived through these challenges myself. It hasn’t always been easy to talk about, but I think our family story will resonate with many others who have silently lived this struggle.

My brother’s mental health challenges became apparent in his early 20s. He has always been highly intelligent with an excellent memory to this day and loved music, parties, and fashion, but he began to struggle mightily when he was in college, ultimately unable to graduate or secure a job. (This is true in many cases; mental health issues become evident during college when many individuals are living on their own for the first time away from their familiar surroundings. This is one more reason why it’s so important that university leaders be educated about this challenge and equipped to provide greater support.)

My brother’s challenges frustrated my father a great deal; he assumed my brother was simply being lazy and not fully applying himself. Doctors initially thought he may have been manic-depressive and gave him medications that were likely counterproductive. But in his mid-20s, he was finally properly diagnosed with schizophrenia. My father decided my brother needed special care, given that he could not be self-sufficient.

To be candid, I think a complicating factor was that we were Asian-Americans. There’s often a bigger stigma in our community around talking about issues like mental health; we rarely discuss it openly, even with close relatives. I’m glad there’s much greater awareness today about the need to openly address issues of mental health, but I think we still have a long way to go.

When my parents passed away, my sister Corrine assumed primary responsibility as his caregiver, and I was a close partner, helping where I could. I vividly remember beginning my tenure in the pharmaceutical industry and learning much more about schizophrenia and available therapies. Even as I lived the experience outside of work of trying to help him and navigating a fragmented system to get assistance, I found that there was no clear resource to turn to for assistance. Our family ended up paying out of pocket, the many things my brother needed, not realizing there were many state and government services and subsidies for people living with serious mental illnesses. In fact, I only recently came across Managed Long Term Services and Supports, or MLTSS, a Medicaid program that streamlines the delivery of home healthcare, long-term care, and services. In addition, it was only a few years ago that my brother was able to also leverage community behavioral care centers, enabling him to have constant socialization, group therapy, and other support services.

Overall, the situation is getting better today with care services and online communities coming together to share both resources and a sympathetic ear, but there’s still a lack of available information, especially for families who aren’t as tech-savvy as more services are increasingly digitized.

My brother’s story underscores the importance of properly diagnosing mental health issues as early as possible and getting the most appropriate treatment. When my brother was given access to proper medication – long-acting injectables, in his case – we saw a vast improvement as he became more social, talkative, practiced better hygiene, and highly functioning — to the point where he now lives on his own with daily supervision from my sister as well as the local community healthcare through Medicaid and MLTSS.

I’ll always be grateful to my sister, Corrine, and my brother-in-law, Wally, for everything they have done and continue to do for my brother. It has been several years now, and up to this day, it’s fallen on her to act as his primary caregiver – down to the daily tasks of reminding him to bathe, cut his nails, maintain his living space, and take his medications. I can’t stress enough how much of an impact it had on him to have this daily presence in his life – something my sister continues to do selflessly and with such grace. Even with access to benefits like food stamps, for example, there is still a need for someone to actually drive him to the grocery store or do the shopping for him. There will always be a need for caregivers, and we should celebrate them every day. I also hope that caregivers can prioritize self-care for themselves, too. I’m reminded of what the late First Lady Rosalynn Carter said: “There are only four kinds of people in the world- those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

My advice to families navigating this challenge is to talk to as many people as you can. Connect with others who have been in your shoes and learn what works for them. Don’t let mental health challenges have a stigma. It’s sad for me to remember times when relatives would come to our home in the early days of my brother’s diagnosis, and my family – perhaps out of a misguided idea of how to protect him – would keep him hidden in another room. It’s critical that we not shut out those who live with schizophrenia. Today, we are very open about all this, and we won’t allow the societal stigma to have a stronghold over us. While he is not completely self-sufficient, we are thankful that he is highly functioning and has shown vast improvements.

By openly sharing our experiences and opening our hearts, we hope to make the journey for people like my brother – and their families – a little bit easier to navigate in the future and not be ashamed to openly share the challenges and hope.

Christine Sakdalan is a healthcare and nonprofit leader who lives life with purpose and passion inspired by faith, family, and making a difference. She currently serves as head of Boehringer Ingelheim’s mental health franchise in the U.S.

The post Four Decades of Resilience: One Family’s Perspective on Our Mental Health System first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

In 7^th grade, I was caught in the perfect storm. My mother and stepfather divorced; my 18-year-old cousin, who I looked up to, was being sent to prison for a life sentence due to a gang-related incident; and I was failing significantly in school. My school failures were due in large part to a learning disability I was diagnosed with a year earlier. Due to my learning challenges, I was ridiculed by my peers, which resulted in fights and eventually being suspended from school. My “homies” became the peer group that accepted me for who I was, and as the months went by, the more immersed I became in my gang.

Experiencing Trauma

The summer between 7^th and 8^th grade led me down a bad path. I was making poor decisions, threatening and stealing from people I did not know and engaging in fights with peers from rival gangs. One night, I finally had a wakeup call.

On the evening of September 19, 1992, I was walking home from a neighborhood park when a black Chevy Impala pulled up alongside of me. At first I thought it was someone I knew; but as the window on the passenger side window slowly rolled down, the deep knots in my stomach told me otherwise. Less than five seconds later, a hand clutching a firearm emerged from the window, pointed directly at me.

I tried to run, but I was paralyzed by the moment. All I could think of was my mother standing over my casket at my funeral. To my disbelief, the person tried pulling the trigger two times, but the bullets never left that gun. That’s when I decided I was not ready to die, and I began changing the trajectory of my life.

Processing My Mental Health After Trauma

Since that day, the trauma from that event has never left me. I live with Posttraumatic Stress (PTS). The irony is I was not diagnosed until 13 years later, when I was in the first year of my graduate program to become a therapist. For over a decade, I experienced intense flashbacks, debilitating hyperarousal and extreme avoidant behaviors. I wouldn’t go anywhere near the area where my near-death experience occurred, and I refused to confront any reminders. My relationships suffered, and my ability to trust others would often make me a recluse.

Growing up in a traditional Black family, I would not have received the professional help that I needed. My family was steadfast on dealing with any type of mental health-related issues by repressing these types of feelings or having our pastor pray over the situation.

Therapy was a game changer for me; it saved my life. For too long, I struggled with persistent anger and self-doubts because I wasn’t able to connect the dots of how trauma was impacting my life. When I began actively processing my trauma through therapy, developing and utilizing a toolbox of coping skills and establishing a network of support systems, I finally learned how to not just survive and overcome what I’d been through, but to truly thrive.

Becoming an Advocate and Fighting Stigma

Several years after completing my doctorate degree, my journey with advocacy began. I was speaking on a panel about trauma when another panelist, who was a police officer, shared his experience with “PTS” — indicating that he removes the “D” in PTSD due to negative connotations with the word “disorder.” That was a light bulb moment for me; to this day, the word disorder is no longer a part of my vocabulary.

The word disorder can make it feel like something is wrong with you. In reality, trauma reactions are normal responses to something traumatic, and what this looks like can be different for everyone. There is already enough stigma attached to mental health, and when we consider vulnerable populations such as communities of color, first responders, veterans, LGBTQIA+, youth and so on, stigma is often highly magnified.

When you add the word “disorder,” it only stigmatizes a fairly normal response to an awful event or circumstance. As a therapist, my clinical radar is more likely to go up when I have a client who has experienced something traumatic yet has no residual effects from it. Without understanding, normalizing mental health becomes so much more challenging.

Helping Others with My Story

Throughout my recovery journey, I have come to understand the power of my voice and my story. I’ve been able to help get key mental health legislation passed in the state of Nevada. I’ve published a book raising awareness about the link between mental health and being unsheltered. And through my work with NAMI, I have been able to share about my mental health journey to empower others within the Black community and beyond.

What I’ve learned along the way is that advocacy is powerful and effective, and it can take many different forms. I have discovered creative ways to facilitate mental health town hall discussions in churches and community centers to discuss mental health literacy. I have also led summits that address the unique needs of people of color. I have learned advocacy is powerful and effective. What’s most important is to meet people where they are — whether that’s in a town hall or a pew on Sunday morning or on the streets of Southeast San Diego. You never know just how many lives can be touched.

Sheldon A. Jacobs is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the Secretary for the NAMI Board of Directors. He is the author of 48: An Experiential Memoir on Homelessness, his website is www.drsheldonjacobs.com and you can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @drjacobs33

The post From Gang Member to Mental Health Advocate first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

These were the words of my startled, excited therapist years ago in her office. I had come to her desperate to unlock and heal traumas that had built up over time. I was about a year into a romantic relationship that would become my marriage; a relationship so healthy, stable and functional that I was trying to self-sabotage. I picked fights, I had panic attacks, I sought conflict where there was none. I was so unused to good, abiding love that I could not handle it.

The bulk of my romantic past, up until that point, ran the gamut. Passionate love with chaotic and sometimes violent people at worst; inconsistent, lopsided and shaky relationships at best. I kept trying to recreate the fervor I was used to with my partner, thinking that was truly what it meant to be “in love.” Increasingly and understandably, he became uncomfortable. He wanted serenity. He pointed out that without it, we would not have longevity. We would not be able to build the home and family I repeatedly told him I wanted.

I took him seriously and took stock of my life. I had been in various forms of therapy on and off since age 13, when my mother first noticed emerging signs of what would eventually be diagnosed as OCD. I was familiar with talk therapy modalities — and I had hoped pursuing these over the years would ensure a functional adulthood. But it seemed I was missing the right type of healing for me.

A therapist I saw at the time asked me if I had ever heard of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. She was familiar with specific parts of my life and thought it would be helpful for me to see another practitioner who specialized in the treatment. I had not heard of it, but after reading a little about it I decided it was worth a try. It turns out it was more than worth it.

My Experience with EMDR

The process of going through EMDR therapy was intense. I shared some of the major events in my life with my new therapist; I have, unfortunately, experienced intimate partner violence more than once. In her office, my thoughts returned to my first serious, long-term relationship — a relationship in which my partner sexually assaulted me, misled me and manipulated me. Additionally, the relationship was very public, with tremendous scrutiny as he had been called out for abusing multiple other people. I had cut off contact with this person, as there was no other path forward for me to heal. I tried my best, but often had vivid, searing nightmares about him. This was a lot to experience at a young age. I was beyond ill-equipped, and I spent the bulk of my twenties reeling from this.

The therapist thought it wise to focus on these more vivid and traumatic experiences. She placed a buzzer in each of my hands, and as we talked through the worst aspects of my experiences from my early twenties, she activated the buzzers, alternating between the two. My understanding was that this kind of bilateral stimulation combined with a full-on retelling of my deepest trauma would reduce the vividness and emotion accompanying these memories.

I would not forget what would happen, but it would not take over my body in the same way. We focused on this intensive work for months, and I saw marked improvement in my mental health and life. My relationship was flourishing; my partner and I decided to move in together. I felt well and whole.

My DIY EMDR

Towards the end of our time together, I looked up at my therapist and said, “So the idea is bilateral stimulation while talking or shouting about the things that have harmed you most, yes?”

“Yes,” she replied. “That is how EMDR works.”

“So, if I have been playing drums since I was 17, and in my latest band singing and screaming particularly about things just like that, would that be the same kind of thing?”

Her eyes got wide, and she sat up in her chair. “It sounds like you’ve been doing DIY EMDR this whole time. Without knowing it, you were seeking to self-soothe and heal. This is extraordinary; did it help you?”

I paused and thought back. When I first started playing drums at 17, it was after seeing Patty Schemel, the drummer from Hole, perform at Lollapalooza in Charles Town, W.V. It was the most beautiful, potent, powerful thing I had ever seen. I did not stop pestering my parents until I was fully set up with a kit to play myself. I didn’t know then many of the demons Patty herself struggled with and has been open about, but I often wonder if I could innately recognize the healing potential in what she was doing.

“I don’t think it is an exaggeration for me to say playing drums saved my life,” I responded. I recalled the freedom I felt inside my own body sitting behind a kit for the first time and many subsequent times.

The therapist shared that other kinds of bilateral stimulation would also work, such as swimming, walking and so forth. She encouraged me to write and share my experience some day.

Finding The Right Healing Modality

It is through my own experience with loud sound as the most healing salve I have ever known that I recognize how deeply many of us want to feel better. People want avenues to move past their trauma. We want pathways to joy and well-being. Pounding out patterns on the drums while speaking my truth helped bring me closer to that; and professionally delivered EMDR helped carry me to a place where I can truly thrive.

I share this story in celebration of the capacity of loud music to help us find our way, and in the hopes of a future in which everyone has access to the modalities they need to find peace. Through this, perhaps our world stands a better chance of experiencing the kind of peace we so desperately need.

Katy Otto is a musician living in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and two kids.

The post How EMDR Healed My Trauma first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

The post How Research Is Advancing Our Understanding of OCD first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.

Grandma Fishel was my constant supporter during my tumultuous youth and adolescence. Her home became my refuge, my safe space away from the house I lived in and the school I attended — places where I struggled to fit in and knew I was different.

She surrounded herself with cozy kitsch to bring light and cheer into her life. I’m convinced this environment was influential in shaping my lifelong love of “Old Hollywood” memorabilia and personal idols like Mae West and Yma Sumac.

Asking For Help

Depression had been my unwelcome, relentless companion since age 11. Not situational depression that people experience as a normal part of life, but immobilizing, chronic depression with no obvious “reason.” Along with depression, even at that tender age, came thoughts of suicide. By the time I was a teenager, those thoughts were normal for me. I was resentful of how casual everybody seemed about daily life, while I was looking out a window at everyone else having fun.

At age 23, I started taking antidepressant medication. I had just moved away and was on my own for the first time; I knew I needed help to survive. It was hard admitting this to myself, much less anyone else — especially growing up in a family that didn’t talk about mental health, despite “the family curse” of suicide among our men. But I wanted to feel better and function in my new social and work environment. I was so relieved when the doctor took me seriously. The first medication helped for about six months. I felt much lighter, was much nicer to people, interacted more and could give more in my relationships.

Then the depression symptoms and suicidal thoughts came back — followed by the struggle of dealing with side effects and experimenting with doses and medication combinations. For many years, this was my routine to manage my depression. Looking back now, I never felt normal (whatever that is), even with medication; my existence just wasn’t as horrific. Sometimes I felt close to ok, but now I see that I never truly was.

TMS: The Treatment That Broke the Cycle

2018 was a really bad time for me, and the medications weren’t getting me through it. In my desperation to try something different, I remembered that some time back, my doctor had mentioned a non-drug treatment called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. At the time, I hadn’t paid too much attention, but when I recalled the suggestion, I thought to myself that I must do this because I owe myself one last thing to try. If it didn’t work, I could at least say I gave it a chance.

TMS uses magnetic pulses to stimulate the brain, so it’s not another medication, and that appealed to me a great deal. The thought of facing another medication filled me with despair. If that had been my only option, I believe I would have given up.

I found a practice that specializes in TMS Therapy near where I live in Southern California, and thankfully, the doctor there diagnosed me as a good candidate. At first, I was intimidated when they told me I would have to come in every weekday for seven weeks. It was a struggle to get out of bed, much less leave the house and go out into the world. But I forced myself to go. After the first few days, I felt like I was doing something positive for myself, and I went every day for seven weeks.

The actual process and sensation of the daily TMS treatments were quite manageable. The office worked with me to schedule times that were convenient, and the practitioner I saw every day was wonderful. She got me settled into the comfortable treatment chair and made sure I received my exact, prescribed dose of magnetic pulses. For about 20 minutes, I sat in the chair and felt a tap-tap-tap sensation on my head where the magnetic coil touched my scalp and delivered the pulses.

Getting Better Surprised Me   

I wasn’t sure how soon I would start to notice a difference. The doctor explained it’s different for everyone. My first sign was that the suicidal thoughts, which I had been having every day, stopped. After about 10 treatments, I had what I call my “Pop Day.” Colors seemed brighter, and I caught myself noticing how pretty traffic lights glow at sunset, photographing flowers on my way home from TMS and seeing beauty everywhere around me. I felt physically lighter, too. With depression, you feel heavy, like you’re carrying around a big bag of sand all the time, and that was gone.

When it worked, I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it sometimes. Ever since Pop Day five years ago, things have never been as they were before. Even now, I’ll sit and think of how I feel today and marvel at the difference. I find myself adapting to situations that would have seemed insurmountable back then.

Treatment Is Lifesaving

Coming out of depression felt like coming out of prison, even though I’d done nothing wrong. The person I always knew was deeply trapped in all that sadness, angst and exhaustion came out. I always knew there was a pretty cool person in there.

TMS was the treatment that worked for me, and it might work for you. The important thing is to ask for help and muster up the strength to follow through. Whether it’s TMS or something else, you don’t have to wait until you’re in as dangerous a place as I was. I hate to say the overused phrase, “If I can do it, you can.” But it’s the truth. I’m no one special, but I am somebody to relate to, and I understand.

Damon Devine is a mental health advocate who wants people to know that mental illness is not their destiny or their identity.  He encourages everyone to be aware of their treatment options before they’re in crisis. 

The post Finding Treatment and Breaking the Cycle of Intergenerational Depression first appeared on Mental Wellness Center.